Week of 09/13/2008 - 16:00 to 09/20/2008 - 15:59

Atmosphere sold out the McD (again) last night.
I missed Blueprint ... got there already into Ab Rude's set.

The signature Slug wave

Slug's serious face as he ejects a troublesome "blondie" from down front.

Shout out to the friendly folks down front.

Funniest photo pass I've ever been given. Needless to say I stayed off the stage.

In case you didn't know, today, Sept. 19, is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

As far as I can tell, the holiday is celebrated largely by saying "Arrrrrg!" a lot, and throwing in some "Avast ye mateys!" and "Ahoy!" or "Well blow me downs!"

The Pirate Day website supplies some pirate talking how to's for those of us who are pirate-talking neophytes.

If you're feeling international, you can also say these things in German.

Google even has its own pirate version.

I've been challenged by some other pirate-lovin' journalists to come up with a pirate joke. So far Googling has not yielded anything worthy of the cheap bottle of whiskey I could win if I come up with the best joke (pirates drink rum, I realize this, but whatever.)

Here's the best joke so far:

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen
you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have
that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball
hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw
you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the
enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the
surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were
in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were
flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an
eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

Anyone got anything better?

Eric Hersey, you're the lucky winner of today's drawing for free Atmosphere tickets. Please accept your prize or else it will be thrown to the hungry wolves.

... if I could figure out how to type out the melody of "The Final Countdown," I would. But I can't, so I'll spare you. ANYWAY, you have approximately seven hours left in which to vote for the Best of Eugene. And we want your ballots. Yes, yours — and yours, and yours, and that guy over there's.

Remember, kids, if you don't vote, you don't get to complain about the direction our country's heading. Er, I mean, the businesses which take home the magical sparkly winners' certificates.

(Also remember that if you vote 18,746 times in a row, I will very possibly think unfriendly thoughts at you forever, or at least until next year.)

Hearts,
Your Resident Bitchy Ballot Mistress

Every once in a while, with all the sustainable, organic and local options around, I wonder why I'm still a vegetarian. Then PETA comes out with another one of its undercover videos and I remember that there's a lot of meat produced in the world that isn't from grass fed cows and happy free range chickens.

Word of warning if you follow the link and watch the video. It's graphic. I was ok through the parts where they kicked the pigs and beat them. It was the part where they guy laughs while he smashes piglets into the floor and then the cute little things squirm and struggle, clearly not dead, that pretty much did me in.

The pig farm in Iowa where the video was filmed supplies pork to Hormel, the maker of Spam. PETA is encouraging it's members to write to Hormel and demand humane treatment of the pigs used to supply their pork.

Hormel's website responds: "We expect all current suppliers to adhere to the proper animal handling standards from day one and continue to do so throughout our relationship. We are working with our supplier to ensure this activity is no longer taking place."

(Full disclosure: I'm not PETA's biggest fan. Their stance on pitbulls and breed specific legislation isn't something I agree with, but someone has to go out there and defend the Wilburs of the world.)

John McCain said the mistake in Vietnam was that the U.S. didn't go all out, invading and bombing north Vietnam. Historians say that could have lead to massive casualties and war with China's huge army.

A fellow Vietnam POW said McCain's an unstable hot head:

McCain has also said (joked?) he wants to bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran:

McCain's VP choice Sarah Palin, an old heartbeat from the Presidency, implied the U.S. should go to war with Russia over tiny South Ossetia:

All of this has lead many to fear a McCain/Palin armageddon. But so far Obama has shied away from calls for tough ads on the issue. Here's the famous one that worked for Lyndon Johnson during the Vietnam War:

According to Stephen Marc Beaudoin @ Portland's Just Out, the recently Portland-ized Bitch Magazine may be about to go under.

Check Beaudoin's story out here and donate to save teh awesome here.

The campaign is called SAVE BITCH.

I heart that.

Here's the video:

Helio Sequence's Brandon Summers. Photo by Todd Cooper.

A larger (or at least thicker) crowd showed up for earlier act Menomena than Helio Sequence, which was a shame. Sure, Menomena's had its proverbial dick sucked by those with sometimes quixotic tastes in music while Helio's been alternately pissed on and given a passing chance by that same White Male Whale. So it's easy to see why the imbalance was there (and it couldn't have been because Hell's Belles were playing elsewhere, could it?). But this night, Helio brought it while Menomena sucked it.

Helio Sequence's virtuoso drummer, Benjamin Weikel. Photo by Todd Cooper.

Perhaps wanting to live up to their billing as a "trance" band, Helio opened with a song off their more trance-y debut album, Com Plex. I think the song was "Sassafras" (but please correct me if I'm wrong). I've always preferred the older, "trance-y" Helio Sequence (sometimes referred to as space-pop) but on Saturday the old songs blended well with the anthemic rock of Keep Your Eyes Ahead. This was music to be moving to, but unfortunately hardly anyone was moving (which is baffling considering the entire stage was a beer garden). There were definitely some movers-and-shakers (especially once they tore into their hit, "Keep Your Eyes Ahead") but it was difficult to go all-out with the dancing when there was enough room for a game of four square in the middle of the pit.

I saw HS play an outdoor gig a year and a half ago (Keep Your Eyes Ahead hadn't come out yet), and Saturday nights' showing was much stronger. Sure, Love and Distance is a hit-or-miss dud, but to hear these two Beaverton dudes keep the wall of sound coming in waves was worth the price of an EC wristband alone. Naturally for this Beatles-influenced band, they ended their set with their ingenious cover of "Tomorrow Never Knows," off of Com Plex. It reminded me that even the Beatles had their anthems and their jams and psychedelic spurts.

Menomena: All washed up with nowhere to go? Photo by Todd Cooper.

Admittedly this video is shot in North Carolina (so says the documentary-esque voiceover) but it does lead you to wonder: Is this how the timber industry sees environmentalists?

Hippies Wail for Dead Trees - Watch more free videos

I do not think this needs much comment.