free press

No, seriously, this is a short and unfunny one. Because sometimes the news ain't funny. OK, except for one.

1. Bombs kill. Death toll still rising after attacks. Oh, and although some (*cough*Britain*cough*) sort of want to get out of Iraq, France wants to become an "honest broker" in the country. Someone has to do something that doesn't involve killing, I guess. Because soldiers are psychologically conditioned to kill.

2. Republicans revel in making others grovel. I don't think that's just a Cali thing either.

3. Leaders like to be deciders. This means they sometimes rebel when their puppetmasters try to tell them what to do or how (or when) to do it.

4. Deciders don't like journalists. Especially after pro-democracy demonstrations.

5. Deciders don't like protesters. And have manuals on how not to see them.
Not that they're worried or anything. But the White House evidently leaves little to chance when it comes to protests within eyesight of the president. As in, it doesn't want any.

6. The funny one: Crocs are ugly! But popular! In case you hadn't noticed them, or all of those little things you can put in their holes, the Christian Science Monitor tells you all about the shoes and their devotees. (And their detractors.)

BONUS: "Dwarf's penis gets stuck to vacuum cleaner"

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