headlines

1. What crazy ass fools would deny kids health care coverage? Would it shock you if I said the Bushies?

2. Maybe they had health care 14 million years ago. And now we'll be able to see!

3. Ha! Not to insult Prince Hal or anything ... Nice try, people, but we know Bush ain't no Shakespearean hero.
After the 2000 recount, plenty of us hoped - we really had no choice - that Bush would turn out to be Prince Hal in Henry IV, the layabout brat who, on succeeding to his father's throne, finds the maturity to lead. His presidency has indeed turned out to be like Henry V, but in reverse.

4. Health care in Ohio is screwed too, thanks to "the market." The profit motive runs contrary to the best cooperative and Samaritan traditions of medical practice and training.

5. Healthy food Less instantly bad for you food at the Indianapolis State Fair. Oh noes, they has to change the oil more often!

Um, dudes, that's a good thing. However, problem:
And if this meant they could indulge without guilt or have one more helping, so much the better.
No, see, the one more helping thing? You're missing the point.

6. OMG, the West Coast is so ... far ... away ... from East Coast newspapers, that is.

7. But not as far as Iowa, apparently. Not that the farmers help that myth, either.

8. Rain: It's messing with Mexico & Jamaica and killing people in the Midwest. (And freaking me out in Eugene: Give me back my sunny days! Until October!)

9. More disaster and a slow response: Peru needs help.

10. Kids these days! It's the annual Beloit list about entering first-year students, and it's a bit confusing:
62. They have no idea who Rusty Jones was or why he said “goodbye to rusty cars.”
Me neither, dudes.

BONUS: The Remains of the Day Lily
That just hurts. Ouch. Stop it!

Ugh! So tired. But oh, my, did Chuck and I enjoy our four days at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, even the less good plays and the, well, disastrous tuna affair at the lame restaurant (all shall be revealed in good time).

Anyway, while we were away, things happened.
1. Nuclear war is OK online. Hey, we ran a story on Second Life. But this? This is creepy.

2. Get back on that rowing machine, Einstein! Exercise makes you smarter. SUCK. Why can't it all be about coffee and wine?

3. For more female equality (and better sex), don't beat your swords into plowshares; just get rid of 'em. Actually, that's but one thing that this Salon story tells us.
Generally women take a broader view of everything, for good Darwinian reasons.

4. Jesus F. Christ, please put down your book and pay attention to flight attendants when they talk about those emergency slides. And here's why.

5. Some dailies still have books coverage. Check out my hometown newspaper! Frankly, I'm shocked. Why? Where's Robert Heinlein on that list, eh?! (He was from KC, after all.)

6. Holy fucking shit: Hamas in kindergarten. If the photo with this story doesn't creep you out, you are not creepable. (Yes, it's totally SFW.)

7. Australia totally screws over its Aboriginal population. Seriously. Over the past six years, at least $30 million of the money the Government promoted as being for Aborigines was used to oppose native title and compensation claims.

8. Bush's Sweeping Push for Democracy Falters. Or so says The Washington Post. But um ... WHAT "push for democracy"? (Or here. Or here. Or here. Or ... )

9. The weekend's weirdest and possibly most counterproductive headline comes from Sunday's O, which ran Illegal immigrants aren't filling jails as the above-the-fold front page story. Um. Thanks, I think.
Online, the story has a different headline.

10. Don't have sex! You'll burn ... down your house!

BONUS: "Help! I'm Hot For an Older Lady in my Church Group!"