republicans

"We've got reps for if you want to call Michelle Obama 'uppity'..."


Possibly related. Well, no, obviously related: Mark Morford's fucking genius column today:
The gang rape and the Republicans —
Behold, 30 senators who don't give a damn about battered women

Here is freshman Minnesota senator Al Franken's first-ever legislative action, a relatively simple, almost laughably surefire bill requiring the Pentagon no longer do business with any contractor -- hi, Halliburton! -- that requires its employees to agree that she cannot sue said contractor if she is, oh let's just say, gang raped by its employees.

You read that right. It's a can't-sue-us-if-you're-raped clause. In a U.S. government contract. Aimed squarely at Halliburton. Thanks, Dick Cheney!

Read the whole damn column here.

UPDATE: Jon Stewart on the Republicans voting against this amendment:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10cRape-Nutswww.thedailyshow.comDaily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorRon Paul Interview

Seriously: What. The. Fuck.

Media Matters put together this "100 Days of Fair and Balanced" video, made up of clips from FOX — one for every day of Obama's first 100 days.

Couple of serious jaw-droppers in there amid the, er, drumbeat of "fair and balanced":

Just in case you somehow missed this awesomeness, and I'm sorry the embed from Comedy Central is so bizarre, but the video's great anyway (you know I love "Rainbows are just God's way of frowning at gay people"):

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30cMichael Steele's Rap Battle Responsecomedycentral.comColbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorMark Sanford

It's funny, but funny in that umm ok, wait, but that part's kinda real sort of way.

Funny in the way that The Onion's story with the headline Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over' was funny til it all came true.

Some prescient quotes from The Onion's 2001 spoof:

On war:

Bush swore to do "everything in [his] power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

On the economy:

On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further.

Wall Street responded strongly to the Bush speech, with the Dow Jones industrial fluctuating wildly before closing at an 18-month low. The NASDAQ composite index, rattled by a gloomy outlook for tech stocks in 2001, also fell sharply, losing 4.4 percent of its total value between 3 p.m. and the closing bell.

and finally:

"We as a people must stand united, banding together to tear this nation in two," Bush said. "Much work lies ahead of us: The gap between the rich and the poor may be wide, be there's much more widening left to do. We must squander our nation's hard-won budget surplus on tax breaks for the wealthiest 15 percent. And, on the foreign front, we must find an enemy and defeat it."

C'mon vote people!!! This story was funny back in 2001 before it all came true!!

(Thanks to Doug Heiken, who posted the video on his Facebook page...)

So I've come to the conclusion that this year (and I bet I said this to myself last time, too), I will listen to what the presidential candidates say, I will listen to what (non-insane) commentators say about them, but I will not, under any circumstances, listen to what they say about each other. I'm just not interested in that aspect. And I don't care who's the prettiest or the emo-est or the toughest or the sensitivest or the ... OK, stopping now, because it's irrelevant to this post and I can't hang my entire unfair distrust of one particular candidate on one very Bushlike quote.

ANYWAY, see, to my very Democrat mind, none of this idealistic claptrap (hey, I'm only insulting myself) applies to the Republicans. I will watch them tear each other apart. Particularly if they're tearing into Giuliani, with whom this once-and-future New Yorker (you can take the girl out of the city, but ... ) has several issues. And thus, I get a lot of giggles out of this: The GOP Primary Field in Buffy Villains.

Mitt Romney is SO the Mayor it's ... really quite funny.

For more pop culture references — though this one's a bit less on purpose — to current politicians, please see Warren Ellis' Transmetropolitan, the comic that made me fall in love with comics, and its creepy, grinning nasty bastard The Smiler. And you tell me who YOU think he looks like. Also, just read the books. Frankly, I think I'm due for a total read-through.

(In all fairness, it was Ellis himself who pointed out the resemblance. What? Don't you follow the many online existences of your favorite comic book heroes?)

Bob Herbert has a column up at The NYT called "The Ugly Side of the G.O.P."

I snorted when I read the headline. But reading the column made my blood boil. I am so sick to death of Republican racism. (Yes, the Dems have something to answer for too, don't get me wrong, but it's not quite the same ... and Herbert explains why.)

He says, "I applaud the thousands of people, many of them poor, who traveled from around the country to protest in Jena, La., last week. But what I’d really like to see is a million angry protesters marching on the headquarters of the National Republican Party in Washington."

To quote Molly (in a different context), DAMN SKIPPY. The column's about how the residents of D.C. don't have any representation in Congress and how the Repubs in the Senate just slapped down a bill that would have made it possible. It's also about the history of the Republican Party since about 1960.

More:
"The G.O.P. has spent the last 40 years insulting, disenfranchising and otherwise stomping on the interests of black Americans."

Indeed, any quick reading of poli sci or history during and post-Civil Rights movement (which Herbert gives) shows that so easily. Why do we have an unelected president? Um ... could it be the denial of voting rights to African Americans in Missouri and Florida in 2000? (And, if Greg Palast is right, Ohio in 2004 as well?)

"Southern strategy" my ass. I'm not sure if the G.O.P. power structure cynically uses racism to clinch power (and they aren't actually racist--more like classist, or simply greedily imperialist) or if they're honestly (if that can be said) racists, and that has made them powerful.

Wait, I am sure after writing that sentence: It's both.

Anyway. No newsroll, no time, but please go read that column. You go, Bob Herbert. I'd fly to D.C. for that march.

Fannie Lou Hamer must be rolling in her grave.

No, seriously, this is a short and unfunny one. Because sometimes the news ain't funny. OK, except for one.

1. Bombs kill. Death toll still rising after attacks. Oh, and although some (*cough*Britain*cough*) sort of want to get out of Iraq, France wants to become an "honest broker" in the country. Someone has to do something that doesn't involve killing, I guess. Because soldiers are psychologically conditioned to kill.

2. Republicans revel in making others grovel. I don't think that's just a Cali thing either.

3. Leaders like to be deciders. This means they sometimes rebel when their puppetmasters try to tell them what to do or how (or when) to do it.

4. Deciders don't like journalists. Especially after pro-democracy demonstrations.

5. Deciders don't like protesters. And have manuals on how not to see them.
Not that they're worried or anything. But the White House evidently leaves little to chance when it comes to protests within eyesight of the president. As in, it doesn't want any.

6. The funny one: Crocs are ugly! But popular! In case you hadn't noticed them, or all of those little things you can put in their holes, the Christian Science Monitor tells you all about the shoes and their devotees. (And their detractors.)

BONUS: "Dwarf's penis gets stuck to vacuum cleaner"

Shortish because paper goes to press today. But packed with info!

1. Stealin' our postal service? The Nation sends out an alert about yet another corporate conspiracy. (Occurs to me that this might affect every small newspaper as well. Hmmmmm.)

2. If you bike occasionally and you live in PDX, The Oregonian might call you a timid biker. And you might get followed in a study, too. Fun!

3. Think the Mafia is all fun and games? Think again.

4. The Gay in sports: Books, websites and HOTT photos of rugby players kissing.

5. More rats leaving the ship: Little Denny Hastert gets out of Congress. (At least $2 million richer than he went in, of course.)

6. Time to make the oceans work for us, baby. Harnessing the power of the waves ... and not just to surf.

7. The world is going to hell in a handbasket. Museums now encourage cellphone use inside. (Me, personally? I approve. But it will be a cold day in that handbasket before any area art museums get on the ball.)

8. Poisoning our kids, part II. This time, it's AMERICAN companies to blame.

9. Another blow against the Boy Scouts of America: Them Native Amurrican spiritualities don't count in Scouting. (Yet.)

10. The Stranger's Erica Barnett writes for other places? Yes, about carsharing, and with a PDX photo in there to boot!

BONUS: Best British headline in U.S. newspaper Award goes to the L.A. Times for "Have consumers gone wobbly?" (As long as they don't fall down ... )

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