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Any suggestions for a "I'm voting Jim Torrey" version of this?

Let me get you started:

I'm voting Jim Torry because I don't think we should preserve endangered species that exist around Eugene. Butterflies suck; we need more high-traffic areas!

That should be the subtitle for the new Weezer video for "Pork and Beans," the lead single from the band's new album, um, Weezer. Wait, didn't Weezer already release Weezer? I'm so confused. But I'm also glad that when my friend Jack and I saw the video for "Undone (The Sweater Song)" on 120 Minutes in the Rubin Hall lounge all those years ago, we were wrong when we agreed that the song was totally frickin' fantastic — but no one would care when Weezer released their second album.

Just watch. And don't read the description first! You'll spoil the fun.

Everyone on the internet thinks everyone else on the internet has already seen these videos. HOWEVER, it's possible there are still people who are not aware that Sarah Silverman is f*cking (please note: only in this sort of instance will I ever fake swear) Matt Damon, and Jimmy Kimmel, well, you'll just have to see what he's been getting up to in return.

It starts with this:

Poor Jimmy! Also, I began to heart Matt Damon after I was done wiping tears of laughter from my eyes. The boy is funny! Who knew?

But Jimmy, of course, is not to be outdone. It took a little while for him to find the best way to get back at both Sarah ... and Matt:

This is what the internets is for.

* This is a joke. Clearly the best thing Affleck and Damon have done since Good Will Hunting is Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. **

** This is also a joke.

Warning: This page is only interesting to those who are interested in the peculiarities of the internet age.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I Google myself. Mostly, it's just to see if anyone has linked to or otherwise noticed anything I've written in the paper; I'm a nosy girl and I'm always looking for feedback. I also have a relatively unusual name.

Or at least I did have a relatively unusual name.

Until recently, most of the results were me, me in a prior incarnation (i.e. unrelated to work here), a few totally random things and a few genealogy sites. But recently, the number of hits shot up, and I started to notice a common username among them: mememolly.

Like I said, I'm a nosy girl. So I went poking around. One of my favorites was a Google result that led to a YouTube page in Chinese that wasn't what the link suggested it pointed at; the link said, "hey guys i have found a certain "molly templeton " who gets paid for doing book reviews now i dont know if its her but just put molly templeton into google ..."

Safe to say that whichever Molly Templeton they were looking for, it wasn't me. It was, I think, this girl. Who also has a resistance directed toward her. Interestingly, there are five Molly Templetons on MySpace who are not me, and it looks rather like all of them are the other one, though the ages vary from 14 to 29.

So let this simply stand as the differentiation page. I am not that Molly. I am my own Molly. But I bet the other one's cool, too.