Spam Writing Contest

So from now until August 31, I will be holding a contest in which I will select the very best writing coming into my email inbox. Points will be scored in the usual categories: quality, originality, word choice, etc., as well as some unusual categories like Outrageous Claims, Earnestness, Spelling/Word Confusion and Size of the Prize (e.g. promise me six inches, meh... but promise me fifteen inches, holy shiv!).

Send all submissions to cal@eugeneweekly.com

Again, the deadline is August 31, 2008.

Here is today's qualifier:

Hello my Dearest One, How do you do ? This is to solicit for your assistance in migrating to your country. My name is Mrs. Madjara Musa Lamine, am from Sierra Leone but I am writing to you from outside my country. I will like to intimate you on the reason why I need to migrate to your country, I want you to take what am about to tell you seriously because it is the story of my life and if there is anything you do not understand, please feel free to ask me questions.

Continue reading by clicking HERE.

There is nothing much to say concerning myself since I live a private live, but am a widow and I was married to Chief Modibo Foday Lamine who passed away mysteriously on the 6th, October 2005. My husband was a businessman with business interest in Gold / Diamond mines both in our country Sierria Leone and Ghana.

The trouble began when my husband's associates started suspecting that he was not giving proper accounts of all the Gold / Diamonds mined by local miners, this mistrust deepens between Feb-March 2004 and since the death of my husband, there had been serious problems in his family over the sharing of his wealth, his extended families are not even helping matters, hence I made up my mind to relocate to another country with my only son.

Before the death of my husband, he told me about a deposit made in a general trust account in one of the international banks here which has to be released after maturity of 3 years.

I have been contacted by the Fudicial agent of the bank that the money lodged by my husband 3 years ago is now matured for release, I cannot handle this negotiations alone and I do not know anything concerning financial matters.

I prayed to God to direct me towards someone that would stand by me and help in accepting this money to his account before my arrival in his country, you are living outside my country and I believe your location will serve as a good ground to invest this money when it is finally released by the bank. According to the documents, I was named as the next of kin and beneficiary to the money, 5.5 Million Dollars (Five Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars).

I am contacting you at a time when I need someone to confide in and also to rely on, but I am afraid, we are yet to know each other and this is a great responsibility that I am about to untrust in you, this way, it is as if am asking too much from you, I shall tell you more about the money when I receive your reply, let me have your phone contact so that we can talk, I shall send you my picture immediately I have access to a scanning machine.

Tell me what percentage I should give for your assistance, in regards of investing the money, let me know what business you think we can invest on when the money gets to your country.

As for me, I wish to use part of the money to raise a reputable charity home or Foundation in the name of my deceased husband and of which I have the intention of nominating you as the president of the foundation.

I look forward to your reply.

I send my love and greetings to you and your family.

God bless you,

Madjara Lamine Musa.