So back in the "good ol' years" of the late '90s, it was good to know that fear was still a tactic used by the U.S. government to keep the populace in line, as evidenced by this rather paranoid brochure issued by the U.S. Dept. of Agriculture that I've been holding onto for the past 8 years. The brochure asks questions like if you are a person who enters "elevators and expect[s] them to take you to another floor." Basically, the brochure asks if you are prepared for utter apocalypse. Well, are you?

See the document after the jump.

The most eerie thing about the brochure, though, is the montage graphic on the front, with the clock ticking against a building looking similar to the White House while the trailing off "But..." is just above a commercial jet going who-knows-where. A pre-9/11 warning? Only conspiracy nuts (or hobby conspiracy theorists like myself) can see this writing on the wall.

Also, the disclaimer at the end proves the brochure's arbitrary nature:

Neither the USDA, nor the U.S. government, nor any of their employees, makes any warranty, express or implied, including warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose, or assumes any legal liability for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information.

In other words, the government can't be held liable for scaring the bejesus out of you.