Breaking news via The Onion:
Nation's Climatologists Exhibiting Strange Behavior
For some reason, climatologists have been running around in an agitated state, waving their little arms and squawking about "global warming."
Wait! Who is that under the heading "climatologists typically quiet, docile"?
Art Robinson? A climatologist?
Sometimes The Onion is actually funnier than The Onion means to be. If you aren't up on Art Robinson, he's the scientist turned politician who ran against Congressman Peter DeFazio last year (and lost).
Art Robinson falls firmly into the climate-change denier camp. But he does indeed sometimes exhibit strange behavior …
Anne Finn of The Onion says including Robinson as a climatologist was not intentional. She says, "From time to time, we'll find that our articles and videos have layers to them that even we don't realize from the outset."
This is the man many of you voted for in the governor's race (this statement of course largely excludes most of Lane and Multnomah counties).
Just picture John Kitzhaber's face in the place of Shaquille O'Neal and that is your election results.
To help you picture this, here's Kitz asking his 22,000 Facebook friends to give him some feedback.
He kinda looks like he'd really rather be somewhere other than on the street doing a Facebook video. Luckily, Kitz is apparently up for thankless tasks. Good thing. He's got lots ahead of him.
Want to be his Facebook friend? Go here: http://www.facebook.com/johnkitzhaber
Chris Dudley only has 17,000 Facebook friends. Leading me to wonder: Is the number of Facebook friends politicians have an accurate predictor of elections?
In other news if you haven't seen newly-re-elected Congressman Peter DeFazio's appearance in The Onion , it's a must read:
WASHINGTON—In the wake of what is being called the deadliest midterm election in the nation's history, Washington's sole surviving politician, Rep. Peter DeFazio of Oregon's 4th Congressional District, emerged from the rubble of the Capitol building Wednesday to announce his intention to rebuild the fallen U.S. government.
The events of Tuesday night—which included live televised images of Sen. Harry Reid taking a gavel to the head of Sen. Mitch McConnell while Rep. Barney Frank repeatedly smashed the face of Undersecretary for Food Safety Elisabeth Hagen against a marble column—left most Americans believing their entire government had perished in the post-election bloodbath. But the miraculous survival of DeFazio points to a possible way forward.
After fashioning a splint for his broken leg and treating himself for superficial head wounds, a shaken DeFazio addressed the nation Wednesday.
"If anybody can hear me, my name is Peter DeFazio, and I'm a member of the U.S. Congress," he called out from a makeshift podium atop the ruins of the Lincoln Memorial. "I—I'm not sure exactly what happened here, but I want to assure the American people that we, or rather I, will get to all of your concerns as soon as humanly possible. I promise."
And it just continues from there, with a truly awesome last paragraph.
I love the "photos" but Onion editors, one minor, little detail, and Eugene Weekly mocking another publication for proofreading and factchecking issues does have a bit of a "glass houses and stones" feel to it … but …
DeFazio has long since shaved his mustache. (Check out KVAL's in-depth reporting on Mustache-Gate (clearly inspired by the fact the station was also running mustachioed photos of the clean-shaven congressman.)
The news source went straight to the top, Penny Dodge, DeFazio's chief of staff.
Dodge said the Congressman slashed the 'stach in 2007 "mostly because it had gotten pretty grey and wiry and was harder to maintain."